Reflections on 7 Basics
The most important lessons I've learned in young adulthood
Today is Sunday. Today is the Lord's day. Today is a day to rest and reflect. Going forward, Sunday will be a day on which I reflect on the basics. It's easy to lose sight of the basics as our knowledge expands, but the basics are the foundation on which our constructed lives rest. Forgetting the basics results in everything falling apart slowly, until we remember them again, often painfully.
I will prevent this from happening by ensuring that the basics are present in my mind as often as they can be, and I'll accomplish this through weekly reflections, scheduled for Sundays. The first of these weekly reflections, I’ve chosen to share, here.
These lessons weren’t meant to be arranged in any particular order, but naturally seemed to fall into place in a way that caused them to appear to build on each other. A clear thought-lineage can be observed in the order that they’re listed.
1: There's no need to worry.
This is one of the biggest, most perspective changing lessons I've learned, and it was one of the first of this magnitude. This mindset first cemented itself in my psyche around mid to late 2020. What I realized was that if something is in my control, then there's no need to worry because it's in my control. If something is out of my control, then it's a waste of time to worry because worrying won't change a thing. As pretty much all situations can be categorized as either "in my control" or "out of my control", the product of this line of thinking became this: there's never any need to worry, at all. Worrying is counterproductive in all cases.
2: Motivation is cultivated, not freely given.
Contrary to what most people would think, realizing that there's never any need to worry actually freed up a lot of energy for me to take action to solve my own problems. As I forced myself to do this, it became easier. Feeling the sense of accomplishment I'd derive from solving a problem or accomplishing a task became the primary mission for most of my days. I started waking up excited to solve the next problem or accomplish the next task. What I realized is that I'd often been waiting around for the motivation to strike before I get to work. But that's not how motivation works. Motivation is trained.
I believe God is more likely to grant me energy when he sees that I’m taking action toward accomplishing a worthy goal. He needs to know that I’ll do it without his help, but if I push through the difficult early moments, He will offer his assistance, especially if I ask Him for it with faith.
3: God will test me.
So, I’ve been doing good on my own, and God has begun to offer me His assistance. I shouldn’t be surprised when He sends obstacles my way, or temporarily retracts His assistance to make sure I’m still up to the task. God does not wish to puppeteer me. He granted us free will for a reason. It is a requirement for His assistance that He knows that I want and have the will to accomplish the task without His help. I simply need to pass the test. If I keep pushing through the hard days, His assistance will rain down on me again with a renewed confidence and radiance. However, future obstacles and tests will increase in size as a function of the level of assistance He’ll grant me if I pass.
4: People do the things they do because they want to do them, and I can't change that.
When people have a choice; when they're not being coerced into action, people do what they want to do. What they want to do, how they want, and why they want, is entirely unknowable to me, and very often unknown (but not unknowable) even to the person doing the wanting. I could attempt to change what they want through persuasion, but they will only be persuaded if they want to be persuaded. I should have no emotional attachment to the negative actions or words of people I don't consider to be close friends or family members, because they are out of my control. Even the negative actions or words of close friends or family members should only illicit an emotional response as a function of how much I believe an emotional response is useful. It usually isn’t.
The only acceptable response to the negative actions of others is acceptance and forgiveness. I shouldn’t forget, however. I should learn the lessons that need to be learned, but accept what has happened as immediately as I can, and move on. Others can't be controlled unless they want to be controlled, and if they want to be controlled then it isn't control; it's collaboration. Don't try to control others. Control yourself.
5: I am the parts of myself that I give attention to.
More accurately, I am the attention, itself. We typically associate the left brain with consciousness, but we are actually the mysterious consciousness that remains to observe in the backs of our heads when the left brain shuts off and the right brain produces it's dreamy imagery when we sleep at night.
This was a realization that came naturally when I began to make an effort to control my emotions. The emotions aren't me. They were never me. I am the thing that picks and chooses the emotions to pay attention to, and to grant energy. The seemingly random thoughts that bubble up from the subconscious aren't me. I am the one that picks and chooses which thoughts to ignore, and which to pay attention to, and grant energy. I am the one who can artificially invent new thoughts, and as a result, I am whatever I want to be.
There are two of us in here; the body, to include the mind, and the soul. The body wants what it wants and thinks what it thinks, but I am the driver. I should listen to the signals from my body and mind, but always understand that I am the one in control, and I usually know what's best. I can develop more ease of control by training the body to only give it the signals I want it to give me. This is accomplished by repeatedly putting my attention on the right things, especially when there is resistance, no different from training a muscle.
6: Faith works. Through it, anything is possible.
There's a difference between faith and testing God for a response. Faith is trust. Testing is a withholding of trust until a desired outcome is observed. The only way to have faith is to cultivate a sense of peace and acceptance with whatever the future holds. This is as difficult as it sounds, but many have discovered a method by which they can train their faith. By consciously shifting my attention to artificial thoughts, as learned from the previous lesson, I can try to make myself believe that I’ve already been granted my desire, even if I haven't yet. This will cultivate the sense of peace and acceptance that is a requirement for absolute trust, which is faith. It may feel forced at first, but in time it comes naturally. God will grant his assistance if the cause is worthy, and the faith is sufficient.
I could write ten pages on my beliefs about the mechanics of faith both physiologically and spiritually, but I won't do that here. Faith simply works.
7: People generally don't believe themselves to have bad intentions.
Most people believe themselves to be doing the right thing, given the information that they have. Some people believe themselves to be "bad people", and will often say as much, openly, but this is more often than not a product of over self-analyzation combined in a lack of belief in their ability to change, which is itself a product of over-identification with the impulses of their bodies and minds, rather than an identification with the conscious self that chooses where to place its attention. People like this are inclined to dwell on their perceived shortcomings rather than taking steps to fix them, and will even perpetuate behaviors that harm themselves and those around them, but until they become conscious of their ability to change in the first place, their shortcomings don't make them bad people, and it's, therefore, pointless to engage in negative-talk about them. As stated earlier, it's better to accept their actions, learn what must be learned, and move on.
Don't attempt to fix people unless they've made it clear that they want your help, because it will only strain relations and cause them to consider you preachy. Their opinions of you shouldn't bother you, because people will do and believe what they want to do and believe regardless of your input, but if you give them a reason to, they will more often than not attempt to poison other people against you, and that's just not worth the mental strain.